Budgie and other bird jokes- Page 1


A man went into a pet shop and asked for a blue budgerigar, the owner said I am sorry but we only have green ones. I want a blue one the customer keeps on insisting. So to get him out of the shop the owner packs up a green budgie, and tells him it's blue. On unpacking the bird at home the customer discovers that his blue budgie is green, and goes back to the shop for an exchange. At the shop the owner tells him once again that he only has green budgies. Never mind says the man I'll paint it. .......You can't do that it will kill it !   Next day the customer comes back complaining that his budgie is dead. I told you the paint would kill it says the owner. To which he gets the reply..... It wasn’t the paint that killed it but the blowlamp !!!

Q: What did the owl say when the budgie farted?

A: Nothing, he didn't give a hoot.

New Bird Found
A new species of budgerigar has been discovered in America. The bird, which has an unusual scarlet colouration was discovered on the dock of the bay in San Francisco. The common name has yet to be decided upon, but the scientific name for this previously undiscovered species is Otus Redding

...another singer
Q. How do you turn a budgerigar into a soul singer in an hour and a half?
A. Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers.

 
...not the chicken joke!
One fine day a budgie walked into a library and said BUCK (book), so the librarian gave the budgie a book. The next day the same budgie came back to the library and said BUCK BUCK, so the librarian gave the bird two books. The next day the same budgie came back to the library and said BUCK BUCK BUCK, so this time the librarian gave it three books. However the curiosity of the librarian was now aroused and so followed the budgie to see what such a bird wanted with three books. As he saw the budgie come to a stop at the edge of a pond, he saw the budgie pass all three books to a frog, who, while he was looking at them was saying, REDDIT, REDDIT, REDDIT.
 
Cartoon:
Lying in a double bed was a chicken, smoking a large cigar and looking extremely pleased with itself, and an egg which looked very disappointed.
The caption was "Well, I guess that we've answered that question?"


 Myna Meal
A man who was much devoted to his mother took a world cruise. Somewhere in Asia, he saw a well-trained Myna that had a vocabulary of hundreds of words. He bought the bird and sent it to his mother. A few days later, he phoned her and asked, Mom, how did you like the bird?
It was delicious, she said.
Mom! he exclaimed, How could you! That bird could speak seven languages!
So why didn`t he say something? she retorted.


Q What is the difference between a poor rifleman and a constipated owl?
A A poor rifleman shoots and can`t hit, an owl hoots but...

A farmer buys a new cockerel, it races around servicing the hens. It seems insatiable. The next day the farmer sees it hop over the fence and start on the ducks and geese. The day after it services all the turkeys and so it goes on. A week later the farmer finds it lying in the middle of the yard apparently dead. He walks over to it, and the cock winks at the farmer. He asks the cock what its doing and it puts one wing to his lips and points into the sky and says - Shush, I`m waiting for those vultures to land!
 

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